mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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