I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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