I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
