we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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