so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
