i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
