ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm too high and old for this...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
