you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
