OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
