I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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