it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
