Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
