First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
