worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
