I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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