remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
did i just pee glitter
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
