Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
