last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
