It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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