i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
