Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
