I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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