no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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