I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
