Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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