I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
