too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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