Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
