its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i think my cat just said my name.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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