Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
do nipples grow back?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
