1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i don't like sucking hair
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
