You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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