a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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