btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
