So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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