drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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