i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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