Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
