do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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