I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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