this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
