Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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