i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
