I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
