I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
