tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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