What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
