I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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