Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
