he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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