she looked like the before picture.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The Olympian is in my bed
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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