ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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