There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
