Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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