The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
