I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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