is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize