a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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