yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
