My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
