Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
