I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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