Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
