Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize