Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
