Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
