Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
