his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
