Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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