Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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