k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
