Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
