everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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