Swine flu. Run for my life!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
