Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
