I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
